'My dad wants to renew his vows at my wedding - I can't believe it'

It doesn't get more romantic than weddings, and the special events often remind guests of the importance of celebrating their own relationships. Sometimes, couples will seek permission from the newlyweds to stage a proposal at the end of their special day. It's less common for couples to organise a vow renewal at the location.

Yet, that's exactly what one dad proposed to do, according to a post shared on Wedding DIY UK. Looking for advice, a social media user revealed their dad had surprised them by suggesting the idea.

They explained: "Writing this because I just want to see other people’s thoughts and reactions… it’s absolutely not happening and he’s ok with that, I’m just in disbelief that it’s even been suggested!"

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They added: "My Dad has called me to ask if him and my Mum could renew their wedding vows at my wedding (my Mum doesn’t know he’s asked this… she would be horrified), as they will be celebrating 40 years of marriage around the time of my wedding! He is paying for 70% of the wedding but I can’t believe he thinks this would be appropriate!"

In response, many commenters said they liked the idea but could understand why the couple would be opposed. One such response read: "Although it's not the right situation for them to do it, the fact that he has obviously thought about this I think is lovely, nice thought but wrong situation if that makes sense.

"Why not word it as a no but that you'd love to help him organise it as a surprise for your mum another time." A similar reply said: "I think is a lovely idea but then everyone is different. Just have a chat with him. How lovely they are paying so much too."

Someone else said: "I actually wouldn’t mind that at all. Happy he asked and you were able to give your honest feelings about it. Especially if you know your mum would not be happy about it."

However, another commenter said the request would have angered them. They explained: "This is tricky as I can understand the sentiment as an outsider, but as a bride I too would be livid.

"If you are not comfortable at all, decline. Or instead of a big vow renewal - their 40 year anniversary could be done as them doing a special dance together, before your first dance. This way still honoured - but main focus is still on you and groom."

A different social media user shared: "Absolutely not. I see it far too often when parents help financially towards an event, they think it automatically entitles them to dictate rules and regs over said event. I’m a glass half empty Jenny, but my first thought was 'I bet he’s thinking it’ll save him some dosh' if he doesn’t have to organise his own independent vow renewal."

However, someone else wrote: "I don't think that's unreasonable, especially since he's paying for the majority of the wedding." Another commenter liked the idea, writing: "He might think this way as possibly he was married before they had you? He might think this is a lovely way to include you too and might see it as a day of love, and he wanted to be part of your day. Personally, I think it's a lovely idea, but that's just my own opinion."

The post's author agreed, commenting that while the plan wouldn't be going ahead, the dad had the best intentions when he suggested the idea. They wrote: "His heart is definitely in the right place about asking but it’s a no from me."